I hope everyone is having a fantastic week so far! I wanted to check in with you guys on something a little different today. Again, as I have promised before, I try to be as open and honest with all of you and I feel like this is something that A LOT of people deal with, but are afraid to talk about.
I'm not too sure where to go with this... but I guess I'll just start with telling you about ME and then we can see where this ends up.
I have been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It was bizarre, however, because there was a period of time where I didn't know exactly what was happening with me, I just knew I hated it. From the time I was little to well into middle school, even freshman year of high school, I would have to have a "confession" of sorts with my parents before I could sleep. I would sit there and tell them every little thing from that day from what I considered to be "mean/bad thoughts," (IE: mentally talking shit about someone...not even doing it out loud, but in my mind) to getting answers wrong on a test. I would have to talk to them about ALL OF IT before I would be able to lay my head down to go to sleep. My mom also always used to do this thing that I will never forget... it was called the "relaxation response." She would start from one part of my body and would tell me to relax it. From my toes to the tip of my head she would go through and name them so that I could focus on one at a time and make the tension in my body go away. (If you want to see where this came from, here is the link: Relaxation Response) It was a process... every night... for years... and for a while, without reason.
Some people reeeeallllllyyyyyyy don't understand what anxiety is, how a panic attack feels or what it's like to feel like you've lost control. If you are with someone who deals with anxiety and panic attacks, trust me when I say that we understand it isn't always easy to be with us. You basically have to deal with something that comes without rhyme or reason, it just is and will be there. I will use my LEAST FAVORITE LINE OF ALL TIME --- "It is what it is." Now while I DESPISE that saying, it is true. Anxiety and panic "is what it is" and that's that. As someone who deals with it quite a bit, I know that when I go into panic mode, that things are going to get ugly and quick. I also know that there is nothing that can be done to stop it. I know that I have to go through the processes of a panic attack. First I get upset, usually over nothing, then I get mad because I'm upset for no reason...then comes the physical issues:
- Palms start to sweat
- Stomach ties into knots
- Tingling in hands and feet
- Feeling like I can't move
- Crying
- Exhaustion
After a solid panic attack, I am exhausted. My muscles hurt like I just worked them out. My mind is tired. It is awful. If you are with someone who deals with anxiety/panic/depression, please read this... I love it and it puts a lot into perspective: 13 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Anxiety
I think the reason that I'm writing this blog is because this happened to me yesterday and I felt that it helped me to know that I wasn't alone. I'm NOT the only person who deals with these things. Some people have asked me about if I'm nervous before taping Dance Party or before doing events for KSFO... the answer: HELL YES -- While I know that I have been doing this for years, without fail, before every event, I have a stomach full of knots and sweaty palms. It seems silly, but it's my reality. You guys make me nervous... LOL! ;) Not really, it's just me. Instead of dwelling on it and going "why am I this way?!" I'm choosing to embrace it and deal with it. I have no other choice.
Now that I have rambled on about a personal problem for long enough, I'd love to tell you my new favorite remedy!
EXERCISE!!!!!!
I know, I'm sure that you've heard it before. Exercise is the best medicine for anxiety and depression, but I must say, I AGREE! If you feel panic or anxiety coming on, go for a walk/run/bike ride or anything active. I give you my word, you will feel better.
This is all about bettering ourselves! Cheers to all you guys for all the love and support always! I appreciate all of you.
-Katie Green
I know of a man my age who didn't begin this problem until late in his life. He's on pretty hefty meds and at times his anxiety overcomes the meds. I'm quite sure he's been given this kind of advice and chooses not to use it. At times he hides in his bedroom and will not open the door even to his wife, he leaves notes to her taped on the outside of the door. He cries at times when she's away for a couple overnights to visit her kids. I like what you're doing FOR YOURSELF and if it wroks for you keep on doin it . . .
ReplyDelete