A Different Topic Today: Anxiety

Why Yo Ho, Hello There!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week so far! I wanted to check in with you guys on something a little different today. Again, as I have promised before, I try to be as open and honest with all of you and I feel like this is something that A LOT of people deal with, but are afraid to talk about.

I'm not too sure where to go with this... but I guess I'll just start with telling you about ME and then we can see where this ends up.

I have been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It was bizarre, however, because there was a period of time where I didn't know exactly what was happening with me, I just knew I hated it. From the time I was little to well into middle school, even freshman year of high school, I would have to have a "confession" of sorts with my parents before I could sleep. I would sit there and tell them every little thing from that day from what I considered to be "mean/bad thoughts," (IE: mentally talking shit about someone...not even doing it out loud, but in my mind) to getting answers wrong on a test. I would have to talk to them about ALL OF IT before I would be able to lay my head down to go to sleep.  My mom also always used to do this thing that I will never forget... it was called the "relaxation response." She would start from one part of my body and would tell me to relax it. From my toes to the tip of my head she would go through and name them so that I could focus on one at a time and make the tension in my body go away. (If you want to see where this came from, here is the link: Relaxation Response) It was a process... every night... for years... and for a while, without reason.

Some people reeeeallllllyyyyyyy don't understand what anxiety is, how a panic attack feels or what it's like to feel like you've lost control. If you are with someone who deals with anxiety and panic attacks, trust me when I say that we understand it isn't always easy to be with us. You basically have to deal with something that comes without rhyme or reason, it just is and will be there. I will use my LEAST FAVORITE LINE OF ALL TIME --- "It is what it is." Now while I DESPISE that saying, it is true. Anxiety and panic "is what it is" and that's that.  As someone who deals with it quite a bit, I know that when I go into panic mode, that things are going to get ugly and quick. I also know that there is nothing that can be done to stop it. I know that I have to go through the processes of a panic attack.  First I get upset, usually over nothing, then I get mad because I'm upset for no reason...then comes the physical issues:

1. Palms start to sweat
2. Stomach ties into knots
3. Tingling in hands and feet
4. Feeling like I can't move
5. Crying
6. Exhaustion 

After a solid panic attack, I am exhausted. My muscles hurt like I just worked them out. My mind is tired. It is awful. If you are with someone who deals with anxiety/panic/depression, please read this... I love it and it puts a lot into perspective: 13 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Anxiety

I think the reason that I'm writing this blog is because this happened to me yesterday and I felt that it helped me to know that I wasn't alone. I'm NOT the only person who deals with these things. Some people have asked me about if I'm nervous before taping Dance Party or before doing events for KSFO... the answer: HELL YES -- While I know that I have been doing this for years, without fail, before every event, I have a stomach full of knots and sweaty palms. It seems silly, but it's my reality. You guys make me nervous... LOL! ;) Not really, it's just me. Instead of dwelling on it and going "why am I this way?!" I'm choosing to embrace it and deal with it. I have no other choice. 

Now that I have rambled on about a personal problem for long enough, I'd love to tell you my new favorite remedy! 

EXERCISE!!!!!!

I know, I'm sure that you've heard it before. Exercise is the best medicine for anxiety and depression, but I must say, I AGREE! If you feel panic or anxiety coming on, go for a walk/run/bike ride or anything active. I give you my word, you will feel better.

This is all about bettering ourselves! Cheers to all you guys for all the love and support always! I appreciate all of you.

-Katie Green

Progress and A Word For My Haters

Heyyyyyohhhhhh! Happy Saturday!

As I sit here watching the Warrior game, I figured I'd make myself useful and check in!

I announced this on Facebook already, because I was excited and just couldn't wait, but I weighed in at 161.3lbs today! As I said on the FB post, I know when I started this blog, I said I was starting at a weight of 179.somethinglbs... but it turns out, after a visit to my doctor which came after I started the blog, I found out I was a whopping 190somethinglbs.

SO - that means as of today, I've pretty much lost 30 freaking lbs!!!! WHAT WHAAAAAT! I am SO excited. I took a progress picture, which I am still sitting on. It is intimidating to post photos like that. And while some people may not think so....yes, I am still a real person too. Stuff freaks me out, like posting pictures of that nature on the internet.

That leads me to the next thing I want to address. (Caution - EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD)

TO THE TROLLS: 

Yes, I know you're there. I've read your mean messages, regulated your rude/nasty comments and even responded to some of you with kindness. I tell you this... KEEP. IT. COMING. You fuel me. While you're sitting there in your mama's basement that you've converted into a perfect cave for you to sit on your ass, probably eating cheese puffs, saying rude shit about people, I am over here bettering myself.  It's people like you that make me so thrilled to be in the position I am in. I can publicly address people like you and I have a great group of followers who can back me on this. You can sit there and call me whatever the fuck you'd like, but know that I read your comments/messages and I go through a very specific series of feelings:

1. I laugh.  
2. Depending on how bad it is, I might get my feelings hurt. (Yes...like I said earlier... I am a person with feelings here too)
3. I laugh again
4. I tell a couple of my friends and we all talk about what an asshole you are
5. I actually feel SORRY for you. It is really sad to live a life where you actually take time out of your day to say something hurtful to someone you've never met, nor will you get the pleasure to meet in your life. 
6. I forget about you. That's right, your time is up. Over it. #byefelicia 

Phew! Apologies for the harshness there, but you know what? I promised to be as real with all of you as possible. That was real. Screw the haters. We're better than them anyways! 

Have a great rest of your weekend! 

-Katie G

Diet, Workout Routine and Struggles.

Hey All!!

That's a hell of a title huh? It's just a "tease" for this post. :)

First and foremost, I want to thank EVERYONE again for the continuous support and love that I have been receiving during this really crucial change in my life. I don't think I could be as successful as I have been without you guys.

ALRIGHTY - lets get to it!

I've been getting a lot of messages about my diet. When I first started this process, I was meal prepping 5 meals a day.  I posted exactly what I was prepping in my earlier posts. It has been about a month since I started, and I am now down to 4 meals a day! It is amazing how your body works. I used to snack and NEVER feel satisfied. Now, I can have a small snack and feel content or "held over" until my next meal! It really has been a difficult retraining my body that I don't need to eat until I feel FULL... I just need to eat to be content! If you need some tips, I found this article really helpful when I was getting started: Tips On How To Meal Prep

Another topic a lot of you are asking me about is my workout routine! I have a problem that I am finding is pretty common... I get BORED!! I get bored EASILY! If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you'll see that I have been hiking every single day! Something about being outside, wandering and reaching the top of a mountain really has been enjoyable and challenging! We are so blessed here in the Bay Area to be surrounded by trails and beautiful views! I highly recommend, if your schedule permits, fitting a hike into your day. Here are some photos from my hikes.

But back to my point - here is my workout schedule:
Monday/Wednesday/Friday: Hike in the morning and gym after dinner with an ARM / AB set.
Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday: Hike in the morning and gym after dinner with a LEG / AB set.
REST ON SUNDAY

It hasn't been easy and there has been more than one occasion where I had to literally talk myself into doing what I needed to do. This is where the "Struggles" part of the blog starts... I recently updated you on how much I've lost. I have lost a couple more pounds since the last update, but I have stayed at that weight for a few days. When you're losing weight every day it is somewhat discouraging to see that stop while I have been sticking strictly to my diet. I know that I am doing what I need to do and that as long as I keep it up, I will reach my goal. I gotta tell you right this second though, it is a little frustrating.

Having said that, I promise you all, I won't give up!

Be Happy, Be True... Be YOU,
KG

I am irritated today...

Hey team!

Happy Friday's eve! Today's blog is going to be a little different. I totally need to vent to you guys today... I had a conversation with someone I know the other day about life and health and I found myself PISSED when I hung up the phone...

So the conversation started with her asking me how I was doing it. She wanted to know what I had done in my life to make the changes I had. She wanted to know what my diet entailed. She basically wanted the ins and outs of my game plan for weight loss.

I basically summed it up for her. I let her know that it took me having an internal moment with myself to commit to a change. I told her that I had a COMPLETE meltdown and finally made the choice. I told her how I spend Saturday's at various farmers markets and spend a couple hours on Sunday meal prepping. I also let her know that I had to retrain myself to not go with the "I'm too tired to workout today" option. I told her it won't be easy. I told her it would suck at times and that the first week is a bitch. I told her that with dedication, she can do this.

All of those things are true. This isn't easy. This does suck. I did have to retrain myself. I do meal prep. With dedication, this is doable. 

She proceeded to sing me a song about how stressed she is with work and how she's been waking up tired. (I'm the WRONNNNNGGG person to complain to about waking up for work... but I digress...) She told me how when she gets off work she's tired and wants to relax and not work out. She told me that she gets bored with food and that meal prep isn't an option because she won't eat it. She told me how she hurt her ankle a year ago and that the doctors told her she had limited workout options. The list went on for what felt like forever.

Now, while it looks like I am talking a boat load of shit, I'm not. I don't judge her for any of these things going on, but I also don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who is constantly complaining about her weight and health, but who isn't willing to do anything about it. I told her exactly what I write all the time, "THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN ON IT'S OWN." You will NOT be able to sit around and lose weight and get healthy. I am willing to help anyone, but please, don't come at me with a laundry list of reasons why you can't do the things I'm telling you work. I feel like that's like asking me if you should wear the blue dress or the red dress, I say blue and you go with red. THEN WHY DID YOU ASK!?

A lot of my frustration comes from how I was raised. I come from a very unique household. There is no "I CAN'T" where I come from. There are no excuses where I come from. That is part of why I was so depressed and frustrated with myself before I started my journey. I had fallen into the "I can't" mode and had started making excuses for myself. NO MORE, I SAY! NO MORE!

You might think that it is insanely insensitive of me to add that the doctors had told her she would have limited workout options to the excuse list. Well, I am NOT sorry for that. I believe doctors are miracle workers and that this world would be doomed with out them...BUT... they do not tell me what I can and can't do. Yes, sometimes and often an injury will change someones life to the point where they can't do the things they used to anymore. Sometimes doctors are right when they say that you won't be able to do what you used to be able to. At that point, all you can do is TRY. Do NOT give up because of that!  I also believe that it has a lot to do with the person. The person has to want to get better, stronger and possibly prove the doctors wrong. Now, before you think I'm a complete heartless biotch, let me explain.

My mom is a polio survivor. Polio attacked her legs, she had 11 surgeries by the time she was almost 13. She was told she would NEVER walk.

Welllll guess what?! She took the crutches she was using to walk, broke them, threw them in a creek and taught herself to walk. This wasn't an injury, this was POLIO. And she beat the shit out of it.  She is now a bartender and I don't think ever in my life I have heard her say "I can't." Hopefully that clears up why "I can't"ers and excuse makers really get my blood boiling. 

A LONG TIME AGO: MY MAMA AND ME GETTING OUR DANCE ON 

MY MAMA'S FOOT PRINTS IN THE SAND

NOT ONLY WALKING, BAR TENDING!! 

So, if you think something is holding you back, try to be stronger than it. If you want to do something, BELIEVE in yourself! TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN, NOT THAT YOU CAN'T. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Especially yourself. Don't let YOU hold you back from being a better you. It takes dedication and patience for this process, and with those two things you CAN'T fail.

I'm sorry if this post came off a little rough around the edges. I just want everyone to be the best they can be and no let anything hold them back.

Also, if you're reading this and are in the giving mood - please donate what you can to my friend Arthur! He was paralyzed after we graduated high school by a robber with a gun. There is now technology that can get him walking and he needs our help to get it! PLEASE DONATE!

DONATE HERE: http://www.gofundme.com/iwillwalk?fb_action_ids=1086598344687220&fb_action_types=og.shares

Don't worry, Be happy,
KGreen

I Got Busy And Forgot to Write!

Ahhh! How quickly I get lost in my days and forget to write!

I hope all of you are doing great! I am! :)

I've been sticking strong to my goals and have been working my ass off sometimes twice a day! It is amazing how much support I am getting from friends, family, coworkers and even people I don't even know! This has been such an amazing ride and I'm glad that I have been able to develop a routine that is starting to feel normal to me!

I was at the gym last night thinking about this. I was thinking about how RIGHT NOW I am having to be very disciplined and careful with what I eat. RIGHT NOW I can't go get that burger and I can't go have that ice cream. I think the reason I'm thinking that way is because I feel like I want to do NOTHING to stop me from reaching my goal. Eventually I will be able to have a burger without any guilt because I will be able to look in the mirror, like what I see and I will have built myself to a level of fitness where I will be able to work off that burger. Now I know that I can work off that burger now, I just would rather not set myself back any further than I already have.

I know I announced this on my Facebook, but in case you missed it, I am officially DOWN 16 lbs!!

While I do still have a long ways to go, I am absolutely THRILLED at the fact that I feel so much better. If you're going through a similar process, remember even though you might not be able to see it right away, others do!! I realize that I can't see the changes... but it has been so cool having people tell me that they're noticing a difference! I just have to keep it up. I continue to tell myself that the only thing that can stop me... is me.

KEEP GOING - YOU GOT THIS!
KG

Just a little boost if you're feeling a little down...

Heyy everyone! Happy Friday's Eve!!

I had an awesome conversation with my dad yesterday about this whole change I have made in my life and I figured I'd share.

I called him yesterday at work right before he was leaving for the gym. We were talking about my health, diet, exercise routine and just life in general. I was telling him that I feel better now than I really ever remember feeling before.  The thing that I find to be the coolest part of all of this is that I did it myself. No one can or will do this for me, so I had to do it myself. I'm succeeding in that which is REALLY a cool feeling.

I was also telling my dad how I can't SEE results yet, still just feeling them... That is something that has been bugging me quite a bit. I'm working my ass off and feeling like I should see more happening. I know I FEEL better, which is equally important, but you know what I mean. I'd love to see the inches disappearing. I know that will come, eventually. I just have to keep working hard.

After I got off the phone with my dad, I went straight to the gym, then from the gym I went on a 2 mile walk with my dog and friend, Erika. It's amazing how 4 weeks ago, you couldn't PAY me to come home from work and immediately go work out. I had mentally programmed myself to think that I was just "too tired" to do it. That was a sorry excuse that I am pissed I used for so long. Yes, my hours are quite the biotch. Yes, I AM tired all the time. But so what?! Working out more has actually BOOSTED my energy... imagine that!!

Things are good - I'm much happier and I know that I am on my way to my goal.

NOW.. one thing that I have been asked multiple times over the last week or so is exactly HOW MUCH I've lost so far...

I know that weight can be kind of a bogus game to play. Muscle weighs more than fat. So as I slim down with what I eat, I am gaining muscle by working out so much. Either way, the answer is 12 lbs! Yep! I am down 12 lbs since I started all of this. It's not a HUGE number, but it is a start and it makes me happy to think that I am on my way to a better me!

And as always, if you're reading this for motivation just know that you have to start somewhere and that starting is the hardest part! When you're starting you think about how LONG you're going to have to do this. You think about how hungry you're going to feel. You think about how tiring working out is and how sore you might get. Take it from me, SUCK IT UP.  Yes... all of those things I just listed will probably be true but put your head up and just do it. You'll feel SO much better, so much stronger and most importantly PROUD of yourself for taking the steps needed to improve yourself, which again, as I said, is something that only YOU can do.

Lets make today GREAT!!
KG

It is POURING and now I can't go on my hike!

Hey everyone!

Happy Tuesday! I hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was a little longer than usual because I had yesterday off which was wonderful!

I cheated again this weekend and am not proud of it! It's amazing how I have reprogrammed myself to almost the point of GUILT if I eat something bad for my body. I know that it's not a huge deal to have a cheat snack every now and then, but I know that until I feel good about myself, I won't feel good about eating crap.

I spent the day yesterday in San Francisco delivering oysters to restaurants with Zac. It was a lot of fun but left LOTS of opportunity for stopping in and trying some amazing food! If you're a listener of the morning show I co-host with Brian Sussman, you'll know what I'm talking about here... I started yesterday with a latte and half a locks bagel from LANA'S Coffee Roaster on Davis St. in SF! It was SO wonderful. The bagel with the cream cheese and salmon, capers and onion. NOM NOM NOM NOM!!! From there, we dropped off some oysters and went on our way. I had a mimosa at one point and even had a few french fries! All in all it was a wonderful day filled with sunshine and fun....and calories...

...which is why I went on TWO hikes yesterday too! :)

Nothing TOO major, but I am glad I was able to work off some of my delicious snacks!

Found this quote image this morning and I think it fits nicely!

Also - Here's my food prep for the week. Sorry it's a little late!

EARLY MORNING: 1 scoop protein powder and 2 cups of almond milk (original)

BREAKFAST: 1 hardboiled egg white, 1 full hard boiled egg and 1 bowl of oatmeal (1 cup oatmeal and 1/2 cup of water)

AFTERNOON: LEAN 25 GNC SHAKES (I bought strawberry and chocolate shakes) and a banana

DINNER: Greens with ground turkey (1 cup of greens and 4 oz of turkey) Greens usually means kale, chard, broccoli, spinach and asparagus.

Holler!
KG

FRIDAY! Woo!!

Hey Friends!

Sorry it has been a couple of days, I've been BUSY BUSY!

This week, I'm feeling the pain. I was feeling some guilt about cheating over the weekend so I felt like I had to work extra hard this week! I did too! I've been doing "two a days" all week!

Having said that, it is getting a little frustrating that I am not seeing results. I know that it takes time and that I won't see any major results for a while but... COME ON!! WAHHHH. I want to see them NOW! Hehe, I'm not entirely serious but anyone who has been here knows exactly what I'm talking about.  I just know that I must stick to what I am doing and eventually... some day... one day, I WILL see results and I'll like them!

This week has been filled with long walks and hikes with some of my dearest friends! Let's see... the last time I wrote was 3/31 which was Tuesday, so since then I:

1) took a 5 mile hike on Wednesday on the Berkeley Fire Trails with my girl Gina and we SLAYED that hill! We even pushed a little extra and climbed another REALLY steep hill. It was exhausting but so worth it. If you don't follow me on Instagram - here's the photo from that day!

2) walked the Bay Bridge Pedestrian trail with my Blerp! This was 7 miles total and it was beautiful! Funny though, we were going on and on about how it didn't feel like we had gone as far as we did. That conversation took place around the 4 mile mark. By the time we got to the car we were both complaining about THE BURRRRN. The burn that is so good and so bad at the same time. Either way it ruled! -- Again, if you don't follow my instagram, here's the photo from that day!

Overall things are great, I'm still sticking with it despite the frustrations of not being able to see it yet! I can do this. If you're doing this too, SO CAN YOU!

HAPPY FRIDAY!
Katie Green