Like... alot. Mucho. Hella. Lots. It was OH SO GOOD.
Saturday was Oysterfest! It was A BLAST! I was in great company, listening to great music and eating great food! I had two beers, a little jambalaya and, of course, some oysters! It was such a wonderful day. On Mother's Day, I had dinner with my parents at this awesome Italian restaurant! We had calamari, a bean salad, roasted duck and a scoop of gelato. To say the least, it was amazing, but I was definitely concerned about the damage I had done and how far back I had set myself.
Surprisingly enough, I didn't gain or lose anything this weekend, which was a shocker. I was totally expecting to get on that scale and see an extra 3 lbs. Glad that didn't happen.
Weight Update: As of this morning, I weighed in at 155.1 lbs. :)
Anyways - enough about me and my weekend, let's get to it.
I want to talk about something, a change, I noticed in myself this last week. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you'll know that I've struggled with my weight before. This has been an on and off battle more than once. This time, however, I am noticing something different.
I have always hated the gym. I've tried them all. 24, Planet Fitness, Crossfit, MMA...you name it, I've tried it. I'm not too sure why, but I would get instantly uncomfortable and insecure. I hated when people would look at me. I would feel a knot in my stomach if a girl who was more fit than me would get on a machine near me. I would leave if I got overwhelmed. It was not my happy place, it was my hell and I never wanted to go back. You know the saying that saying "misery loves company", well it's true, I was so comforted to know that I was not the only person who felt like this in a gym. Actually it was way more common than I had even imagined.
On this journey, I haven't really had a choice other than to go to the gym. Yes, I know, I hike all the time and do a lot of outdoor activities, but at the end of the day I have to go to the gym to get the full, well rounded, workout in that I need. So, needless to say, I had to sack up and deal.
If you're like I was, I highly recommend taking a look at a few gyms and picking one that suits you. For me, I found a near by, women only, gym that I LOVE. It is small, usually not too busy, no dudes (sorry guys, but it's just easier to get sweaty and gross when you're not there) and nice people all around. This has made a MAJOR change in how I workout. I'm finally comfortable.
Another thing that I had to train myself to do, was NOT COMPARE. This was a big one. I'd see a girl with the body that I want, and I'd get upset. I'd be mad that I let myself get out of control. I was mad that she looked better than I did. I was annoyed that she chose to stand by me. Was she trying to make herself feel better? Was she laughing at me on the inside? OR was all of that in my mind and was she just working out like I was? I'm going to go with the last one. That didn't matter though, I was uncomfortable and that was all I could wrap my mind around at that moment in time.
If you're reading what I wrote above and totally relating, I'm glad. Not because you're struggling at the gym, but because there is a chance that I can help you. I thought about this last night while at the gym and working out in the same area as this chick that has a PERFECT body. When I say perfect, you can picture what I'm talking about. Lean, built, tight, thin - all of it. But something was different this time...
Rather than COMPARING myself to her, I used her as MOTIVATION. There is no use in sitting there wishing you looked like someone. There is no use in wasting energy being mad that you don't look like that. Use it as fuel. Also, try to think of this: You're already at the gym. That is the HARDEST part. Once you're there, you've already conquered the worst part of it all. So when you're in there, working your ass off, and someone walks in who has everything in the body department that you're looking to achieve, don't get discouraged because you're not there yet, use it to motivate you and look at them as a future image of yourself. I did this last night and found myself working out harder and accomplishing more.
If I can do this, anyone can do this. If you're struggling, you're not alone. This is a daily struggle. An example of that is the urge I had to buy that bag of Doritos at the store yesterday. I love Doritos... and so do my hips ;)
You guys are the best. Don't ever give up! We're all in this together! <3
-K to the G
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